Jean Grey Is Absolutely, Positively, NOT
by Eileen
Summary: Is Jean pregnant . . . or isn't she? Read and find out!


**JEAN GREY IS ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NOT . . .**

(A/N: This is sort of a response to all the pregnancy stories that have cropped up lately. There's a surprise at the end—wait for it!)

"Ask her!" Rogue nudged Kitty as the two girls watched their friend and housemate Jean Grey washing the dishes.  
"You ask her!" Kitty replied. "You're the one who got the idea in the first place!"  
"Yeah, but you were the one who noticed first!"  
"Okay, we'll both ask!"

Largely oblivious to all this, Jean herself  stacked the plates in the drainer, and wished for the millionth time that they had a dishwasher. With all the new students they had now, it was a lot of work.  
She caught Kitty staring at her out of the corner of her eye. "Something I can help you with, Kitty?"  
"Yes . . . I mean no . . . I mean . . ."  
"Go on!" Rogue whispered from behind her.

"Well, uh . . ."

"What is it?" Jean sensed turmoil in the girl's mind, but refused to probe any further. No one would trust her if she poked around in their heads all the time. She'd just have to get it out the old-fashioned way.

"Jean, by any chance,are you . . . uh . . ."

"What?"  
"You know . . ."  
"Pregnant!" Rogue finished for her.  
Jean looked at them both. "Why would you think that?"

Think fast, Rogue . . . "Well . . . you're kinda gettin' a little soft around the middle . . ."

"No way!" Jean insisted.

"Yeah, like, totally!" Kitty said. "You're getting fat!"

Jean shook her head. "Don't think so."

"Oh yeah?" Rogue said. "Get on the scale and we'll see."  
"You mean the scale that Kurt and Forge 'improved'? It's so far off it's no good for anything!"

"Oh, c'mon, Jean . . ."

"Look, guys, I'm not . . . well, I'm just not!"

Rogue and Kitty flinched. This wasn't exactly the reaction they were expecting.

"Is there a problem, girls?" It was Ororo.  
The three of them shook their heads. "Oh no, we're fine," Kitty said. "We were just . . . um, bringing our plates in."  
"Yeah," Rogue nodded.  
Ororo seemed satisfied. "Do you need any help, Jean?"  
"No, I'm fine, thanks."  
"Are you sure? I don't mind."  
"No, it's all right."  
"Fine, then we'll leave you alone. Come along, girls, I'm sure you have homework to do."  
As Rogue and Kitty followed her out of the room, Rogue whispered, "Y'know, she's been actin' funny since she got back from Africa last month."  
"Yeah, totally," Kitty agreed.

"What do you suppose she was up to there?"

"She was supposedly on a diplomatic mission to some little country," said Scott Summers.

Kitty and Rogue jumped. "Oh!"  
"Something going on I should know about?"  
"Funny you should ask that," Jean said. "Kitty and Rogue seem to think that . . . I'm expecting."

"You're what?"  
"I've tried to tell them they're completely, totally wrong, but--"

Scott shook his head in disbelief."Man,what is with those two?" He watched them disappear around the corner, heading for the stairs. "I mean, you think we'd know, right?"

"Exactly."

This did not stop the two girls from investigating in Jean's room.  
Kitty found something interesting in a drawer. "Ah! What to Expect When You're Expecting! This is a definite sign!"  
"Yeah?" Rogue said. "Take a look at the inside."  
Kitty flipped open the cover. Property of Bayville Schools was stamped across the first page.  
"They're doin' Human Development in Health class," Rogue said.   
"Oh? And how would you know this?"

"I'm in it."

"But she's highlighted--"  
"This isn't enough by itself. Let's look for more clues."

"Suit yourself." Kitty shrugged.

Just then they heard someone coming . . .

"Vhat's up?"

"Oh, hi, Kurt," Kitty said.

"We're lookin' for proof Jean's pregnant," Rogue whispered to him.

"VAS?!!!!!"

"Ssssshhhhh!" Kitty warned him. "You wanna get her mad at us?!"

"Is she?"  
"Mad at us? I don't know . . ."  
"No, no. Zhe ozzer zhing."  
"Oh. I don't know that, either. She says she isn't, but . . ."

"But vhat?"

"Have ya looked at her lately?" Rogue drawled. "She's really puttin' on weight."

"At this rate," Kitty said, "she'll be bigger than Blob one of these days."

"Vhoa!" Kurt gasped."You think so?"

"She says it's cause she hasn't been exercising, but--"  
They heard footsteps coming down the hall. "Uh oh!"

They all became as still as statues . . .

"Get us outta here!" Rogue whispered.

"Hold on!" Kurt replied; a second later, the three of them vanished from the room.

As for Jean herself, she was too preoccupied to notice their absence.

"Where did I put that sponge?"

She started to look on the dressing table when she smelled something . . . then she lifted up her right shoe. And, sure enough . . . 

"Oh, no!"

She couldn't tell what it was, but it was not something nice.  
"Eewww!" She went to her bathroom to clean it off . . . and on the way back she noticed that one of her drawers was hanging open.

Way open.

And there was something inside . . .

"What's this doing here?"

It was a pregnancy test. Funny, she couldn't remember buying one . . . or needing to.

I wonder who this belongs to. And why they tried to hide it in my drawer.

She immediately ruled out Rogue, who couldn't touch anybody.  
Was it Kitty? Had that . . . that Lance pressured her into something she wasn't ready to do yet? Was that why she had hidden this here?

Or maybe it was one of the new girls? What were they up to in the East Wing?

Kitty, at that moment, was conferring with the others about a school project. She saw Jean come in and look at her strangely. "What's the matter?"

"Kitty, you don't have something to tell us, do you?"  
"What?" Kitty was confused. "What do you mean?"  
Jean sat down. "You know," she began, "if you have a problem, you can always talk to me."  
"But I don't--"  
"Whatever it is, you can trust me."

Kitty sighed. "Look, I already promised I wouldn't do any baking for a while, if that's what this is about."

"No, that's not it." 

"Well, what then?"  
She really doesn't know . . .

"What did I do?"  
Jean decided to get to the point. "Someone," she said, "hid this in the back of my bureau drawer. Do you have any idea who it could be?"  
She brought the pregnancy test kit out from behind her back and put it on the coffee table.

Kitty stared. "What the--?"

"That's what I said."  
"You mean . . . it's not yours?" Rogue asked.

"No way!"

"Are you sure?" said a voice behind Jean. "It was in your bathroom."  
They turned around. "Amara?"  
"I went in to use your bathroom, because Tabitha was in ours taking a shower, and you know she takes forever. Anyway, I saw it on the sink, and I thought you'd left it out, so I put it in your drawer so no one else would see it. You mean it really isn't you?"

"No, it's not." Jean was more than a little puzzled by now.

Kurt BAMFed onto the table. "Guess vhat I found in zhe kitchen?" he announced, and brought out a small plastic bottle, which he laid beside the test kit.   
Jean picked it up and looked at it. "Prenatal vitamins . . ."

"Where'd those come from?" Kitty asked.

"Zhe kitchen, like I said."  
"No!" Kitty shook her head. "I meant, whose are they?"  
"How should I know?"

"Look at the bottle," Amara suggested. "Maybe there's a prescription label."  
They turned it over and over, but all they saw was the instruction list. No name, nothing.

"That was no help." Jean sighed.

"So that's where I left it."   
They looked up. Ororo came in and snatched the bottle off the table.  
"I've been looking all over for those. Sorry I used your bathroom, Jean, but someone was in mine." She took the test kit as well.  
All of them stared after her as she walked away.   
"Ah told ya she was actin' weird," Rogue said.  
  
  
THE END


End file.
